kids...

"are you guys worried about your kids not being by your side when you grow old??"

believe or not, uncle & i debated this topic just last week. to me, i would love to have my kid by my side every single day, not only when i grow old, but now. well, seeing my life changed after having rayern explains it all.

for the past 18 months, i have not let a day pass without seeing him. everyday after work i rushed home to see you. i paid for monthly gym which i dont go. i cannot remember when was the last time i went shopping for myself. last time i would hang out in pal's house talk and even go shopping. now, everything has stopped.

well, i am not complaining, in fact i am happy doing so. i always have this thinking - if you cant devote your time to your child, why the hell do you even consider giving birth? being a mum, i think this is an obligation you should have for your child. i really dunno whether what i am doing is right, but this is just an instinct. i would rather give up all my time - my shoppings, my facials, my catching ups, just to be with my ray ern.

where were we? ohh... i told uncle, we cannot control our kids. i believe every adult has their rights and we should respect them. if you make them stay with you, do you think they will be happy? i am not going to stop them from doing what they want to do.

my family bonding is extremely strong, and i really do hope that re can be with me through all my years. but i believe in one thing - it's your spouse who is going to be by your side forever, not your parents, your siblings, your friends or your children. and like od said, no matter at which part they are in, do pray that they have their parents in their hearts.