when depression hits...
i don't know if any of you have had depression before other than IS and moi? The beginning of this 2nd quarter marks the day i started my deep deep depression. Initially i thought it was work, then my communications with my hubby then lastly my kids. Never would have imagined it was pregnancy!
I started with emotional breakdowns, i got irritated and aggitated with every damn thing that moves under the sun, even when water starts spilling out of a bottle would tick me real bad. Instead of smoking more, thank god, i smoked less but my arguements with hubby doubled. My work was affected, i had insomnia and each time my kids rumbled together, i flipped with no excuse.
The last weeks of July was my worst time, i was hit by depression from all corners and it showed NO MERCY. Last weekend while I was in Melaka, i brokedown again in my room, it was real bad, i wailed on and on till at one point, i had to take a slow walk outside the hosue to calm myself down - I should say I was physically unstable. Also not forgeting last night at 130am, i started my nonsense again. Its probably going to stick to me for quite sometime from now on. You do not need an excuse to cry, you just cry out of NO REASONS!!! I find myself pathetic at times, I cannot understand why I keep breaking down and torturing my dear, innocent hubby, but it is just uncontrollable and unexplainable. DAMIT! I HATE IT! I hate looking at myself cry and whine so much. But I am slowly but surely composing myself together again. Though i may seem fine and happy in front of people, but once all has faded, i am back to my depressed self.
I do not want to complain to you guys although I know that you all would definitely listen, i think the least I could do or help as a friend is to warn you all of the symptoms and effects.
So ladies...moral of the story is please be prepared before you take a step further! In my case, i thought I was prepared, but accidents do happen. Don't end up like me ok!
I started with emotional breakdowns, i got irritated and aggitated with every damn thing that moves under the sun, even when water starts spilling out of a bottle would tick me real bad. Instead of smoking more, thank god, i smoked less but my arguements with hubby doubled. My work was affected, i had insomnia and each time my kids rumbled together, i flipped with no excuse.
The last weeks of July was my worst time, i was hit by depression from all corners and it showed NO MERCY. Last weekend while I was in Melaka, i brokedown again in my room, it was real bad, i wailed on and on till at one point, i had to take a slow walk outside the hosue to calm myself down - I should say I was physically unstable. Also not forgeting last night at 130am, i started my nonsense again. Its probably going to stick to me for quite sometime from now on. You do not need an excuse to cry, you just cry out of NO REASONS!!! I find myself pathetic at times, I cannot understand why I keep breaking down and torturing my dear, innocent hubby, but it is just uncontrollable and unexplainable. DAMIT! I HATE IT! I hate looking at myself cry and whine so much. But I am slowly but surely composing myself together again. Though i may seem fine and happy in front of people, but once all has faded, i am back to my depressed self.
I do not want to complain to you guys although I know that you all would definitely listen, i think the least I could do or help as a friend is to warn you all of the symptoms and effects.
So ladies...moral of the story is please be prepared before you take a step further! In my case, i thought I was prepared, but accidents do happen. Don't end up like me ok!
posted by VP @ 9:17 AM
1 Comments:
At 10:54 AM ,
-jOAnnE- said...
wow, and i really tot it's over and u've gotten over it.
hmm, poor thing. if that's the case, try not to be alone. come out more and go meet frens.
and another advise - dun quit ur job. scared u might end up increasing the depression thing.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home